I’m holding this banana
But I can’t eat it like Sarah Lucas did
I can’t enjoy the taste of a banana
Enjoy the mashing
With my tongue and the roof of my mouth.
Because I’m allergic.
Sarah Lucas isn’t allergic
But I am.

So I’m making more
To overcompensate
For the things I’m not allowed
It’s self torturing
To have so many visuals
Of me holding my fruit

Because its not just Bananas
It’s all fruit
I’m not allowed
To taste
The acidic skin of an apple
Because my throat itches and my lips lump
But oh how I crave it.

I crave the dangerous crunch
Of an apple.
So I overcompensate
It’s an obsession
A need
To have them around me
To tease myself
It’s so incredibly dull.
The repetition
But I don’t care
I do it for me
Not for you.

So
I’m making my own antihistamines.
I’m making them all
I’m making loads
Because I want as many as possible
So I can eat fruit
Because I can’t take another message
To order a burger
But to type
‘Without Tom’
I don’t want to be without tom
I need tom.

Me and my banana

Me and my pear

*FRUIT*

Me and my apple

'A dangerous crunch'
Lino print on A4 Cartridge paper
2020

'Acidic skin'
Lino print on A4 Cartridge paper
2020

Self portrait collage holding plaster fruit
Sizes vary
2020